NHL Goal Songs Suck (The Thrilling Conclusion)
Welcome back to my journey through the world of NHL goal songs, lets dive back into the good, the bad, and the boring. Before we get into it I just want to note that writing this list has completely nuked my YouTube recommendations and the algorithm now suggests me nothing but goal-horn-related content (and trust me there are some people out there with very strong opinions on air horn models). Such are the sacrifices I make for my art.
The Good
Nashville Predators – I Like It I Love It by Tim McGraw/ Gold On The Ceiling by The Black Keys
Is it entirely understandable that the city of Nashville would want a country spin on their goal song? Yes. Would I like this better if it was just Gold On The Ceiling? Also yes. I’m inclined to think that the Preds fans agree with me because in the clips I saw it seems like they only get really riled up once that fuzzy-wuzzy-Black-Keys-patented-bass drops in. It’s fun, it’s upbeat, and it can be chanted and head-bobbed along to without actually knowing any words. I’m going to dock them like half a point because it seems like the crowd doesn’t quite know where they should be cheering, but overall it’s a very solid choice.
New Jersey Devils – Howl by The Gaslight Anthem
The Devils place themselves immediately in my good books, by picking a song by a band actually from New Jersey. The song itself has a kind of closing-credits-to-a-nineties-coming-of-age-movie thing that also works incredibly well for a post-goal victory lap. I was going to take points off this one for having too many lyrics to be easily chantable, but in classic Dirtball Jersian fashion the crowd apparently chants “you suck” at the opposing team in between the “heys” during the chorus – so clearly the fans love this one.
Philadelphia Flyers – Ain’t Talking Bout Love by Van Halen
I don’t know what Van Halen has to do with Philadelphia, but in the same vein as I can’t hate on teams using an ACDC song I can’t fault the Flyers for going with such a stone-cold classic.
Pittsburgh Penguins – Party Hard by Andrew W.K.
The Pens went in a more aggressive than feel-good celebratory direction, which is actually kind of rare for this league. This song is absolutely juiced and I like that it’s something a little different – good job Pittsburgh.
Tampa Bay Lightning – Goons by Mona
Some higher-up in the Lightening organization was clearly feeling some nostalgia for the mid-2000s when they picked this one out. That might sound like a diss, but I don’t mean it that way – I really have nothing against this one.
Toronto Maple Leafs – Dup Dup by Mickie Krause
This chorus feels like the Leafs are trying to take a peek at the Blackhawks homework. While not as iconic as Chelsea Dagger has become for that organization, this one is pretty successful for many of the same reasons: its punchy and it’s easy to sing along with.
Vegas Golden Knights – Vegas Lights by Panic! At The Disco
Vegas kind of has an unfair advantage because how many iconic songs and bands have been written about/formed in this city? Like really, how many songs can you name off the top of your head that mention Vegas as opposed to say Winnipeg? Exactly. Considering the wealth of options, I don’t think my mind would’ve immediately jumped to Panic!, but I like it. It’s a little unusual, and could possibly function as a gateway drug to lure emo kids into watching hockey. Plus, if you squint while you listen it almost sounds like they’re saying “Vegas knights”.
The Bad, Subcategory: Confusion
Vancouver Canucks – Don’t You Forget About Me by Simple Minds
This just feels like a weird choice on the Canucks part – I don’t understand why you would pick a song that’s so indelibly associated with something already. Does anyone hear this and picture a slick Petterson goal instead of a flannel-clad fist pump? Also is anyone in danger of forgetting about you when you score goals? Is it funny in an ironic way? I’m confused by this one, but I can’t totally hate on it because I honestly prefer the bizarre to the boring.
The Boring
New York Islanders – Crowd Chant by Joe Satriani
I really, really wanted to like this one more. I mean this is Satch, the guy is a certified icon in the guitar nerd community and he’s even from New York and I do appreciate the connection to the team. All that being said, however; this song itself is pretty generic and I can’t bring myself to place it in the “good” category.
New York Rangers – Slap Shot by Ray Castoldi
Some quick trivia to kick this one off, so Ray Castoldi is apparently the chief organ player for Madison Square Garden and then I guess decided he was sick of playing other people’s organ sounds and came up with a song of his own for the Rangers. And I’m going to give Ray some credit here, this might be the best of the boring (but it’s still pretty boring).
Ottawa Senators – Song 2 by Blur
Boring, boring, boring I’m so bored. Like yeah okay we all know that Song 2 can get the people in the celebratory mood but this feels so overdone.
San Jose Sharks – Get Ready For This by 2 Unlimited
See also; Ottawa Senators. Pretty much every sports franchise to ever exist has used this song at some point – which is probably really helpful for 2 Unlimited when they need to pay the mortgage, but I wish the Sharks would go with something more original.
St Louis Blues – Let’s Go Blues by The Urge
Yawn.
The Best
Seattle Kraken – Lithium by Nirvana
This is it, this is the best goal song in the NHL. I can’t say anything about Seattle’s goal song other than stress again that Lithium is such a good choice. It’s an (if not the most) eternally iconic Seattle band, it’s one of the few Nirvana song that you could almost call uplifting (or at least not wickedly depressing), and it definitely hasn’t been overused by other sports franchises. As a new team in the NHL I don’t think they could’ve announced themselves to the league in a more unique, thoughtful way. It’s so cool, it’s so on brand, I have no notes.
Disqualified
Washington Capitals – Individual goal songs
Choosing the song you want publically associated with you seems like an insanely stressful decision. Or do they just assign you a song? What if you get assigned your ex’s favourite band and now every time you score a goal it comes with bittersweet memories of the love you lost? I’m stressed out just thinking about it.
Winnipeg Jets – Individual goal songs
How does this even work? What if it’s one of those messy scrambles where you can’t see who scored until the replay? Do you just pick one of the guy’s songs and hope for the best? Does every player get a song or only the dudes you expect to score – are we giving goalies a song just in case?